Boston Michelle Brown

I have lots of friends who are pregnant and trying to pick a name for their new little bundles and I get asked often why we named Boston, Boston. People either really love her name or they say "oh, I have never heard that for a girl" which means they usually don't like it.

Well. I know that the not everyone is going to like it but we do and that is why we picked it. 

First off Boston was a name that Devin and I had been taking about since we were first dating. We both kind of mentioned it one day and it stuck so the moment that we found out we were pregnant I knew that if it was a girl her name would be Boston. There is no other reason behind it. Just that we liked it and had always planned on it.

Michelle on the other hand is a name that has so much significance to me and to Devin. I knew that when I had a girl one day that I wanted to name her after my mom. I love my mom, and I wanted to name my daughter after her. Not just because she is a spectacular mother but for so many more reasons. My mom is smart. She is one of the smartest women I know. I am always so proud to tell people that she is MY mom. She is beautiful, I swear as she gets older she just gets more and more beautiful, in fact people OFTEN ask me if she is my sister. She is kind, and loving. My mom is dedicated, and skilled. My mom is open minded. She is faithful. She loves her Savior Jesus Christ and she shows it in her actions each and every day. She is humble. My mom is good at everything she tries. She is optimistic. My mom is everything that I always wanted to be. I can't think of a better example for my daughter. **who would have known that the relationship she has with her grandma would be so special. She loves grandma so much**

Devin's sister's middle name is Michele, it may not be spelled the same as we spelled Boston's middle name but because it was Steph's name it was part of the reason why we picked it. Stephanie is also kind and intelligent. She is a wonderful friend and sister. Devin and I both admire her very much. Stephanie is so talented at so many things. She has courage and strength that I wish I had. She is a wonderful person and has since the first time I met her felt like my sister. She is a fabulous mother. Her girls love her so much and they are so lucky to have her as their mother. And I am so lucky to have her as my sister.

When we picked out Boston's middle name we picked it because we wanted her to have someone to look up to and admire and to constantly be reminded of what it meant to be a good woman. Who better as an example than her grandmother and her aunt. I love and admire both of these women in my life and they have helped me so much. I wanted Boston to know that she could always look up to them and that they would always be there to love and support her.

There are so many other wonderful women in Boston's life that she could be named after for similar reasons but these two women in particular stood out to me when we were picking names. I hope that Boston will grow up to be a wonderful, smart, beautiful, kind, friendly, and faithful woman like the ones that she was named after.

Breast Feeding: My Experience

I have had the feeling for awhile that I need to write down my experience with breastfeeding my daughter Boston, if for no other reason than to remind myself later about it.


I will be honest as I  was writing this it made me angry, and it made me want to go back in time and tell myself to stand up for what I wanted.

To start out with our experience was rocky. Boston was sick and I had had a C-section so I was in recovery and I wasn't able to see her until hours after she was born. By the time I was able to go see her the nurses had given her a bottle, like I said she was sick so they had to get fluids in her, I honestly believe that those first few hours made a huge difference in the rest of our experience together. When I was finally able to try breastfeeding her the nurses only let me try for about 10 minutes at which point they insisted that I give Boston a bottle of formula and try pumping instead, I knew my milk wasn't in yet because it can take 3-5 days for that to happen and so I thought that pumping would help. It didn't. I know now that if I had tried to nurse longer that would have been better but I can't change that now. So I pumped and then again when Boston was hungry I tried to nurse and was told after 10 minutes to try pumping again the pumping did nothing. (I pumped for 45 minutes each time). When the third feeding that day came around we had received a new nurse and she was much nicer. She gave me a nipple shield and had me do a Supplemental Nursing System commonly referred to as SNS. I was happy to try this because Boston was going to get the fluid she needed and then Lear now to nurse as well. I thought that is would be a compromise that would make everyone happy, unfortunately for me it did nothing. Boston did learn to nurse but because she was getting full on the formula she never really stimulated my let down. I did continue to do this until my milk finally came in on day 3! At this point I was so tired and frustrated, but I did know that I wanted to nurse and I no longer wanted to give Boston any formula or bottles or SNS nothing! I just wanted to nurse. So when I told my mom that she said I should tell my nurses and they would help me. I was too afraid because Boston's Doctor at the time and the nurse we had the most often treated me as though I was a bad mom for not wanting to give Boston any formula. So I said nothing, but my mom being who she is told the nurse that I wanted to breastfeed Boston and I didn't want to give her any more bottles. So the nurse that night wrote that down and told the doctor in the morning, at which point I was given a lecture about how I didn't have enough milk for Boston to do that and that if I chose to do that she would get more sick basically he told me that I was a horrible mother for even considering it. I was so upset that I just continued with the SNS and tried my best to just make it through until she got to go home. After a week in the hospital it was finally time to go home. Boston was doing great! I was so ready to go home. I was hoping that by being home I would be able to nurse her and not have to worry about all everything else that was going on.

For the first few days Boston was eating all the time, she was eating a lot more often than all the books I had read said she should be and that honestly should have been my first clue, and that it didn't hurt as much as everyone said it would should have been my second clue that something was wrong but I was a new mom and I knew she was getting milk because she always had milk on her face when she was done eating. So I continued to nurse thinking everything was great until her 4 month appointment when she hadn't gained any weight, and her doctor made us come back for weight checks all the time. It was all stressing me out. Once again I received a lecture about how I wasn't taking care of Boston and that I should just give up and give her formula. I really didn't want to do that so I would nurse her and then pump and give her that bottle just so we could see how much she was really getting. Also at 4 months she started solid which helped tremendously with the weight gain. Soon after that Boston wouldn't nurse at all, she would scream and scream when I would try and only wanted a bottle so I started just pumping and slowly but surely my milk supply was going down so we would add formula to make it fatter and to supplement what she wasn't getting. This was one of the hardest parts for me. I would cry all the time about wanting to be able to feed my baby, that was the one thing that I wanted to do for her. I felt like an awful mom and my poor Devin would see how stressed out and upset I was and knew there was nothing he could do to help me. During all of this I tried everything that they said to do to increase milk supply I got supplements, I drank AWFUL tea, I made lactation cookies, I drank more water, I power pumped. I literally tried it all. Nothing seemed to be helping so after many tears day in and day out about how I couldn't feed my daughter and how her doctor was treating my like I was a horrible mom I decided to switch pediatricians and see if someone else could help me. Her 6 month appointment was with a new doctor, and he was marvelous. He listened to my concerns and gave me advice but the best part was that not once did he look at me like I was a child or a bad mother he helped me figure out what was best for both me and Boston. When I left that appointment I decide that I would continue to nurse her as often as she would let me and give her bottle the rest of the time. As she got older she decided that she wanted a bottle and by this point I had come to terms with that so I would just pump and give her milk with formula mixed in.

When she was 7 months old we went on a trip to Seattle to see my sister Stephanie (sister-in-law) and her adorable little girls. While I was there I was talking to my Steph about the whole dilemma (by this point my milk had gone away almost completely and Boston was mostly getting formula), Stephanie was the one who convinced me that I wasn't a bad mom if I decided to just give Boston formula. She pointed out that if I wasn't making enough milk that it would be better if I just gave her formula and that I would be so much more happy if I just switched her over, so I did. That night Steph and I went to the store and got the right sized nipple for Boston's age and a bigger bottle that held more ounces of formula. The next day I just gave Boston formula and that is what I have done since then. It was one of the hardest decisions that I had to make but I am glad I did it. Boston is beautiful and healthy and I don't love her any less than I would if I had been able to nurse.

I am so grateful for my WONDERFUL sister. I am so glad that I made the decision to change pediatricians. I am grateful for the fact that I am able to give Boston formula to help her grow since I wasn't able to produce enough of my own milk. I am so glad I have a husband that supported me through it all and let me decide what was best for me. I am grateful for the experience I had, even though it was hard.

I will definitely do it again. Someday when we have another one I will still try to breastfeed, I will just stand up for myself more and I will do whatever I have to, to make sure that the baby is healthy even if that means bottle feeding.

The Wallet

Boston loves to get into my wallet and take all the cards out. I have tried to hide the wallet from her but if she sees it for even a second she will crawl like a mad woman over to it and take everything out. Needless to say I don't want her to lose something in there or rip something. You never know what a crazy baby can do. So the other day I got out an old wallet and I filled it with the cards that you slowly collect in your wallet but don't actually ever need and I gave them to her. It was the best thing for her. She spent an hour playing with the cards and making a mess. :)

Catch up!

Wow It has been a very long time since we have updated our family blog! We have lots going on,. Boston is 9 months old and keeps me EXTREMELY busy! She is into anything and everything that she can get her hands on. We absolutely love it!

Devin got a 4.0 this semester and I couldn't be more proud. Though it seems like the hoops that he has to jump through are never ending. He is very excited to slowly but surely getting closer and closer to his degree! Only 2 Years left if we planned it right.

We recently moved to a new apartment on campus and we love it! It is so nice to have neighbors that are our age. We have already met a few and they are wonderful. The ward here is also very welcoming and we are really enjoying that as well.

I am starting a CNA class in July and I am looking forward to that but I am nervous as well. Luckily we have family near by and Amanda (who Boston LOVES)  will be able to watch Boston while I am at my class until Daddy can come pick her up.

We are planning a Tanner family camping trip to Yellowstone in July as well. Hopefully I will remember to post something about that.


Life is busy as can be but we love it that way!

More stories on the way!

Our NICU Experience

In my post about Boston's Birth Story I mentioned that Boston was born with a fever and that she was in the NICU. I have decided that I need to write down my experience in the NICU. I have told many people about it but I haven't had the chance yet to sit down and actually explain what it is like to be a NICU parent.

DISCLAIMER: Even though Boston was sick she wasn't that sick and we never worried that she wouldn't make it through her NICU experience, and we understand that we don't fully understand what it is like to have a very sick baby in the NICU. I just wanted to get our story written for us and for Boston in the future so she knows what it was like for us.

That was the longest week of my life. The first few days were really hard for us both, but having the support of our families made it so much easier. I was happy to have my parents there because they knew exactly what it was like to have a baby in the NICU, and Devin was glad his mom was able to come down and be a support to him, both during Boston's birth and our NICU experience.

The hardest part was that Boston was attached to all kinds of cords and was under a heater because she couldn’t hold her body temperature on her own. Her daddy was scared, this was his worst fear the whole time I was pregnant and he was having a hard time with everything. The doctors quickly let us know what the plan was for Boston. She had an infection and it needed to be treated with antibiotics for at least 5 days, (it ended up being the full 7 days). They didn’t know how or what kind of infection it was so they ran some tests to try to find out. They were constantly poking her and drawing blood, so that they could figure out what it was that made her sick. On the second day in the NICU Boston was having some trouble with her reflux and she spit up enough that she started to choke and was unable to breath, they put her on oxygen, even though she didn't really need it.   Things seemed like they would never get better. Devin was stressed out and really felt that we needed to give Boston a blessing that she would heal and things would start to look better. So after being at the hospital for about 3 days Devin asked his Uncle Allan, and his cousin Bryce who had just returned home from an LDS mission, to come to the hospital and help Devin give Boston a blessing. As we were sitting in the NICU waiting room eating our dinner,I was starting to feel alone, because my parents had just left that morning. I distinctly remember sitting at the table across from Devin and he looked up and kind of slightly smiled and said "Look who is here." I turned around and I could barely hold back the tears when I saw my grandma and granddad Garvis. It still makes me cry just thinking about seeing them right when I really needed my family. I instantly felt a little better and realized that I wasn't alone our families were there to support us even if they couldn't be with us the whole time. The blessing was beautiful and exactly what we needed. In Boston’s blessing Devin said that she would begin to feel better and that she would be removed from all of the cords that bound her. After that blessing we all headed up to my room and Allan and Devin gave both me and Devin blessings. Each blessing was very comforting and exactly what we both needed to hear. Devin's Uncle Allan gave Devin one of the most inspired blessings I had ever heard. It was so beautiful and the spirit was so strong. I could feel Devin starting to feel better before the blessing was even over. I don't think Allan knows how grateful I am that he was able to do that for Devin. He needed it and it was so perfect. I am so glad Allan was able to do that for him.

Things quickly started looking up. Boston was taken off of the oxygen and by the end of the next night she was no longer receiving IV sugars to keep her blood sugar up because now she was eating enough. She was finally in a regular bed instead of being under the heater bed. It was all getting better. Everyday the doctor would say that she was looking better and that soon we would be able to take her home. Things got so much easier after that. It was hard to not be at home but we worked around that. I spent every moment that I was awake down in Boston's room ( I think I annoyed the nurses), and every break Devin got from work he was right there with me. It started to seem like we would never get to go home, but finally on Tuesday September 10, 2013 we got to bring our beautiful girl home. It was so wonderful to bring her home! We love her very much and have no idea how we ever lived without her.


 (the pictures are not in order I was too impatient to try to fix that)

daddy giving her a bath

She was a little jaundice so she was under lights for a day

Finally going home and she isn't so sure about it. hahahah. Oh I love her!

The Birth Story of Boston Michelle

FINALLY I am getting around to finishing up Boston's birth story. I know how important it is to document events like this in our lives but I don't love calling it a birth story even though that is exactly what it is, I guess it is just weird to me to call it a birth story. ANYWAY... Here it is the story of how our beautiful baby came into this world. (Don't worry I am not going to give any gross details)

Tuesday September 3, 2013 at 2:48 pm my beautiful baby girl was born. Things leading up to her birth and her birth itself didn’t exactly go the way we planned, so I wanted to write about our experience so that one day when Boston gets older I can remember exactly how we felt and everything we went through. I am not going to give every detail on the blog but I have written about it in my journal just for my sweet girl.
Everything started on September 2, 2013. The whole night I was up in the bathroom I couldn’t get comfortable and I just couldn’t sleep. I was worried that my water had broken and I didn’t know it, and to top it all off I hadn’t felt my baby moving for at least 3 or so hours. So early that morning I called my parents and my doctor and decided that we needed to go to the hospital to check on our little girl to make sure she was okay. We got there and it turned out that what had happened was something with my meconium plug. This is something that had happened to my mom, so I was somewhat familiar with it, and I knew that was one of the reasons that my older brother ended up in the NICU. Well they sent us home and told us to come back later because I wasn’t dilated at all and my doctor wasn’t on call, I was, however, having contractions that I couldn't feel and according to the monitor they were about four minutes apart. So we went home, and I packed our hospital bag just in case she decided she was going to come later that day. At around 3 I could finally feel my contractions, they were not unbearable but this was the first time I had actually felt them and didn’t just see them on a monitor. The contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart still and my family was sure I would end up at the hospital that night. We went to dinner with the Cooley’s at Chuck-a-Rama and the contractions got stronger. By this point we were just deciding when we should go to the hospital, but I was so afraid that they were just going to send me home again and tell me that I should come back tomorrow when I was scheduled for an induction. So we just kept doing whatever we could to try to get her to come faster. We took a walk around our neighborhood, and Devin’s grandma’s neighborhood hoping that would induce labor and make it so they wouldn’t tell us that we would just have to go home. After our little walks we headed home. By this point my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and pretty painful. I was more than ready to head to the hospital but I was still worried that they would send me home again so I decided to read my book to distract myself for a few hours. I told Devin that when I finished my book we could go to the hospital. The contractions were getting harder and harder to ignore but I was determined to finish my book before we went to the hospital. So at midnight when I really just couldn’t take the pain anymore and the contractions were closer and closer together, and I had finished my book we headed to the hospital. When we got there and got all checked in and they checked everything out to see how things were going they told me I would probably have to go home. I just about died, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I really didn’t want to go back home. I was in pain and it wasn’t going to get any better. About twenty minutes later they came in and told me they wanted me to stay because Boston’s heart beat would drop just a little bit right after I had a contraction and so they wanted to watch her until my doctor got there at 7 am. I was sad to hear that there could be a problem with our baby but I was relieved to hear that I could stay at the hospital. The contractions just got worse and worse as the night went on and at about 4 am I asked Devin to call my parents and tell them I wanted them to come up. I was in a lot of pain and I could tell that my poor husband was dead tired from the extremely long day he had had. My parents showed up at 6 am and I was incredibly relieved to see them and to let my husband sleep. Devin unfortunately didn’t get much sleep until way later in the day. At 7 am my doctor showed up! I was so unbelievably excited to see him and figure out when I was going to be able to get my epidural. The epidural was one of the best choices I made. I am a bit of a wimp and I was happy to get the pain meds. The doctor came in and checked everything and decided to break my water and not even thirty minutes later the anesthesiologist was in to give me my epidural. I was really scary at first but once he was done I was in heaven. I couldn’t feel my contractions and I was feeling much better. The doctor came in to check on me about every 2 hours to see how things were going and unfortunately nothing was happening. In fact Boston was moving further up instead of down like she should be. After the doctor checked me for the last time my worst fear was about to happen and I had no idea. The doctor woke both of us up and told us that I was going to have to have a c-section, because my cervix was not dialating and Boston was still having an irregular heart beat, not to mention the fact that she had moved further up since I had gone into labor. This had been our worst fear since the very beginning. Neither one of us wanted me to have a c-section. We were both so scared so before they took me down Devin, my dad, and little brother gave me a blessing that it would all be okay and that we would be able to get through this together, and that Devin and I would be able to raise our little girl, at the time I didn’t think that would be so comforting but in the days to come that was one of the most comforting things that was said. After the blessing they quickly wheeled me into the OR and started getting everything ready for my c-section. Luckily I didn't have to wait long because I already had my epidural. It all went by so fast but we were ready for our baby to get here. Everything went by even more quickly once I was on the operating table. I could feel the doctors pushing and pulling on my belly but it didn’t hurt. Then all of a sudden Devin stood up to watch them get the baby out. They quickly got her weighed, measured, took a temperature, and declared a time of birth and then wrapped her up so that Devin could hold her. By this point they knew that Boston would be going to the NICU at least for a little while because she was born with a fever, and infants should not have fevers, it is a sign of infection. Devin got to hold our beautiful 7lb 12oz, 21 inch long little girl, and since I was still on the table being stitched up he brought her over for me to see her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was so wonderful to be able to see her. I just kept thinking she is beautiful and she had SO much hair! Well while Daddy was holding his little girl she stopped breathing and turned purple. The nurses took her and got her to breathe again and then Boston and Devin left. They finished stitching me up and wheeled me over to recovery. I had only seen her for a few seconds and now I had to wait an hour in recovery before I could see her again. I was very sad and very anxious to hold that sweet little girl who I had carried for 9 months. That hour seemed to be the longest of my life. My parents and Devin came in to wait with me and then when it was finally time for me to go to my room they wheeled me by the NICU first, so I could hold my little girl. Holding her was the most amazing thing. I knew I loved her from carrying her all that time but it is so different when you get to see your baby’s face for the first time, you can’t even imagine how much you really did love that little person. I didn’t want to put her down. I only got to hold her for a few minutes then they said I needed to get to my room and that I could come down later after they had gotten me checked into the Mother Baby Unit. It was all so surreal for a few days. Boston's pediatrician came and looked at her and decided that she would need to stay in the NICU for a few more days at least and to get some antibiotics. It was hard to believe that our baby was already here. It was so sad to know that we wouldn't be taking her home for a few more days at least, but it was absolutely wonderful to finally meet her.

The NICU was an experience all its own and I will write about that in another post, so look forward to that.